Schools Deal with Fashion, Modesty during Prom Season > Back To Resources Main

By Angela Pometto

Women’s fashion has become tighter, lower and more revealing. Spaghetti straps, halter tops, open midriffs, camisole tank tops, thong bikinis, mini skirts and apron tops are just a swatch of what defines "popular" fashion.

For Catholics raising young teenagers in this decade, modesty has become an important issue. While John Paul II’s "Theology of the Body" describes how man is called to give glory to God in and through the body. It is also true that the body is the "temple of the Holy Spirit" (1 Cor 6:19). So there is a line drawn between making the body appealing and revealing it unnecessarily.

"Every day it is becoming a bigger and bigger issue," said Eileen Hanley, director of admissions and student life at Paul VI Catholic High School and fashion merchandising teacher. "All you have to do is look through a mall."

Through the 21 years Hanley has been with Paul VI, she said the modesty issue has "reared its ugly head in the last five or six years." Although school uniforms are worn during the school day, she said that the dress code is not enforced at sporting events and after school activities.

Hanley, a parishioner of St. Timothy in Chantilly, has a unique perspective as a fashion teacher. "Fashion goes in extremes," she said. "It’s a pendulum swing, and it will begin going to the other extreme soon." This has been the pattern throughout history, she said, noting that in the ’90s, a loose-fitting, grunge style was "in."

Several parents, on the other hand, do not see modesty as such a huge issue.

"We never make a big deal out of it," said Amy Andrews, mother of two Paul VI students. She and her husband take the modesty issue on a case by case basis.

"(The girls) know when someone is dressed indecently," she said, and they try to find something that fits and looks good.

Andrews, a parishioner at St. Mark in Vienna, believes that the reason girls dress immodestly is that they need more love in their lives.

"My husband and I try to give lots of hugs and love so they don’t look for it other places," she said. The father’s role is especially important in letting girls know they are loved. "If you give plenty of love and attention, they don’t have need to get it from somewhere else."

"It is important they don’t go around looking like sleaze bags," said Terry LaMonica, mother of two Bishop O’Connell students. "They should be in style, but not revealing."

In terms of swim wear, she allows her daughters to wear bikinis, as long as it’s in good taste. Bikinis and swim suits are appropriate at the beach/pool side, but when walking to and from, it is better to be covered up, said La Monica, a parishioner at St. John in McLean.

"They don’t buy my style," La Monica said. Young people depend heavily on what others think about their outfits, whether they do or don’t look good.

"A lot of times, they are their own barometer," she said. "They’re pretty good at finding what looks good."

All agree there should be a higher dress standard for church. "Our girls wear skirt and top, something dressier than jeans and a t-shirt," said Andrews.

Hanley said that "they should be able to bend/kneel at church" without having any problems. "Sometimes kids don’t understand, so you have to be very specific."

La Monica’s girls are allowed to wear jeans, "but no short shorts or spaghetti straps," she said.

With prom season around the corner, modesty issues at the Catholic high schools surface. Students at Notre Dame Academy in Middleburg have heard talks about dressing and acting appropriately. At Bishop Ireton in Alexandria, a letter is sent home to parents about prom regulations. Girls are expected to wear a dress or gown that "does not include excessive gown slits, an exposed midriff or any part of the torso, or any see-through design that exposes a student inappropriately." Ireton students also go through a greeting line of about a dozen chaperones, teachers and administrators who ensure the outfits are modest.

At Seton School the girls, including female dates, must have their dresses approved by Anne Carroll, director of Seton School, and Katie Pretz, director of student activities.

"It releases the tension when all are held to the same basic standards," said Pretz. Those standards include: fronts no lower than three fingers from the collarbone, backs no lower than six inches from top vertebrate, straps at least two inches in width and slits no higher than the knee.

"If the dress needs alterations, it is the girl’s responsibility to get it altered and then bring it back for final approval," said Anne Carroll, director of Seton School.

Pretz said most of the parents and students are very willing to follow their guidelines.

Part of Paul VI’s prom preparation included a talk with Francine Gallagher, director of the Old Dominion Cotillion. Cotillions teach proper etiquette and are also concerned about modesty. Their yearlong programs for high-school aged girls prepare young women for the adult world. At the end of the program, the girls know the difference between what is right and what is wrong, Gallagher said.

"Society tends to be more casual," said Gallagher, a member of St. Joseph Parish in Herndon. "While it is acceptable (for girls) to wear slacks in certain situations, it is more appropriate to wear a skirt or suit." Part of the cotillion curriculum is to help the girls discover what makes them look good.

For prom, Gallagher spoke to Paul VI students about how to pin flowers, hair styles that fit with dresses, jewelry, shoes, escort techniques for the men and how to pick out a prom dress.

In terms of guidelines, she said a dress should "be something that is comfortable for them and is tasteful." It is not tasteful for young ladies to have to be tugging on their gown all evening — whether because it is too short, long or loose. The purpose of a prom dress is "to make the girls look feminine, but not over-exposed," she said.

Gallagher said that strapless dresses are appropriate when the girl knows how to wear it. "It needs to be tight," she said. The cotillion girls are not allowed to wear strapless dresses until they have graduated the program after 12th grade.

Spaghetti straps and halter tops are also fine, but it should be tight enough so they are able to lean over without difficulty, she said. The back should not be too low or the front too deep.

It is challenging for young people these days, because they want to be like their peers, Gallagher said. "It is generally difficult for them to be different from the rest of the group."

The parents and teachers are ready for the pendulum to start swinging the other way.